Thinking back -

So thinking back & just getting started today - I have to tell a story from before -

I no longer work at this particular place but this is an unforgetable guest.


So we had no hostess -

And it was my turn -

Being that I am fair & mature enough to go with it I did - even though the said guest walked in with mirrorred cop glasses from the 80's on & shorts that he most certainly bought from a Richard Simmons line on.

Dear God -

Please let men know that their JEWELS are most likely to hang out of Richard Simmons shorts & this is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!

Thanks - The Server


So anyway - I take him to my section - how come just for once I couldn 't be that server that picks & chooses my tables & screws someone else?????


I sit him at his table - this day - table 51.

I greet him just as though I hadn't noticed the possibility of his nutsack hanging out of his super short shorts! And I believe he ordered an ice tea! And a coke for his friend that was coming!

Well his 'friend' finally shows up - I don't know about you but I do get dressed for the DAY when I go eat at a sit down restaraunt - not this man. I am not sure about this - but I think his hair had been brushed the week before - & his slippers & PJ bottoms were not really a thing I would expect in this said restaraunt - of course he is sitting with cop glasses/Richard Simmons shorts!

So - I think PJ bottoms ordered a catfish sandwich - BUT Richard Simmons shorts ordered a hamburger - with VERY finely chopped lettuce - well BECAUSE he was lactose intolerant - oh & the RED onions needed to be chopped as well - because he was lactose intolerant! AND of course this was something I NEEDED to know - not that he just liked it that way while his jewels hung out of his shorts - but because he was going to CRAP himself on the way home if it wasn't JUST RIGHT!!!!

So - of course - I chopped the greens & the reds - OH MY was he PLEASED - SO much so that while I was at ANOTHER table he FLAGGED me over with a TEN dollar bill - not that I was trying to take care of another guest or anything!!!!!! Sure I will take that $10 on a like a $30 tab - BUT really?!

Dear Sir -

Please pack away the jewels & have respect for others!!!!!

Thank you -

The Server